Seriously stinky stuff

If you are ever down in Mexico (that's what those of us in NSW call the state of Victoria, south of the border), try and turn off the Hume Highway and visit the Milawa Cheese Company, which oddly enough, is located just outside of the town of Milawa. Or is it just outside the village of cheese?

I have not been there for two years, owing mainly to a lack of skiing at Mt Hotham last year, and the desire to get home from the ski fields in a hurry this year.

Milawa does some wonderfully strong and stinky cheeses. You can buy them at all sorts of fancy-pants outlets up here, but I prefer to go to the source and taste the stuff on site and buy from the factory. It's just a nicer ambience, being out in the country and seeing the cows where the cheese originated from. You see, you might think that cheese is made from milk, but in Milawa they have bred cows that give cheese rather than milk. It's some kind of genetic warfare program gone wrong. I think the strong smell of the cheese is a product of anthrax, but I wouldn't let that bother you.

As you can tell, I am trying to put you off ever buying their cheese as I have a big soft spot for the washed rind cheese, which is nastily pungent, and they only have it available half the time when I drop in to buy some. It's a bit of a pain to drive 700km and then find that the cheese you want is out of stock.

I made the mistake once of buying some and then leaving it in the car overnight. I had to drive all the way to Melbourne with all the windows down. Stopping the car, and thus stopping the flow of fresh air into the car, would have been fatal. Either take a small eski with you, or buy one on site. And for goodness sake, seal the eski with gaffer tape until you want to remove the cheese. So long as you take all the normal bio-hazard precautions, you should be safe.

I can't eat the stuff at night - it gives me nasty cheese dreams. How nasty? Acid is a soft, harmless drug for children in comparison to the effect of these cheese dreams. I should ask them if they are rolling their goats curd in magic mushrooms next time I am there.