Q. How do you get your completely crap oven hot enough for pizza?
A. I don't.
My oven sucks. It sucks dead dog's balls. It reckons it can get up to 200, but that's like the speedo in a small Hyundai saying that the car can do 200. Yeah, right.
I have tried putting my pizza stones into the oven, then turning on the griller and leaving the door closed, but all that does is set the smoke detector off. So I have been experimenting with pre-heating the oven for half an hour at the hottest setting, then turning on the griller for 5 minutes to crank it even higher, and then pulling the stones out to make the pizza.
There are the odd occasions when the oven amazes me by producing a pizza in less than 10 minutes, and one with a crispy base at that. But those occasions are about as common as the second coming of Jesus. The more normal process is for me to make the pizza, check it after 10 minutes, find the base is still soggy, give it another 5 minutes (ditto) and then come back after another 5 minutes to find that the base is approaching an acceptable level of crunch, but the topping has gone black and crispy.
Never skimp on the oven. Life is too short to eat shitty pizza.
Showing posts with label Grub. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Grub. Show all posts
Sunday, 24 February 2008
Onion relish and pizza
Right, since it was pizza night tonight, I decided that I wanted to make a vego pizza that included onion relish as one of the toppings. If you like your steak with a bit of onion relish on the side (or a lot, as I do), or bangers and mash with a MOUND of onion relish piled over the top, then you'll know what I am on about.
I have made it a few times before, but have never had to suffer through cutting up enough onions to make a kilo of sliced onion. The recipe, which comes from Donna Hay, calls for double that, but I never would have survived the slicing of 2kg of onion. As it was, it took me four goes to slice this much (which I think came to 12 onions).
You get a nice big pot, like my Le Cruesett (or however you spell it) and heat it up to medium heat, then toss in a lot of olive oil. Coat the bottom of that sucker, don't be scared of a bit of oil. When it's heated up, chuck in the onions, stir them to break them up then whack the lid on.
Come back every 15 minutes and give them another stir. At the half hour mark, you might have to scrape a few caramelised bits off the base. Cook them for 40-60 minutes - however long it takes them to go a nice brown colour.
For 1kg of onions, throw in half a cup of brown sugar and half a cup of red wine vinegar, plus salt and pepper to taste. I also like to toss in a handful of sage, and you can also throw in things like apple and currants if it takes your fancy. I used white wine vinegar today, and I am not sure if it made any difference.
That much sugar makes it a bit too sweet for me, but I do not have super-sweet taste buds.
How was it on pizza?
Bloody magnificent, if I say so myself.
Instead of using drained and squished tinned tomatoes to make the sauce, I bought a small tub of semi-dried tomatoes from the local woggery, plus tried oven drying a kilo of my own, and munched that up the blender with some garlic and salt to make an excellent pizza sauce. It did need a splash of balsamic vinegar though, and a small amount of sugar.
If you want to know why the average westerner is ingesting so much sugar these days, try making a pizza tomato sauce without sugar. Then keep adding sugar until it tastes like the shit that gets delivered. You'll probably have made a sauce that is 50% red stuff and 50% sugar.
I also make my own dough, because J prefers a dough that is about 30% wholemeal flour, and I have come to like it too. It has more texture than the usual lily-white shite that comes in a cardboard box. The trick is to buy some digital scales for weighing the ingredients. I thought weighing stuff to make dough was a complete crock - until I tried doing it for myself.
I usually make 3 pizzas for 3 of us, and on average, one goes in the fridge for snacks the next day. Enough dough for that many pizzas requires:
500gm flour - you can use all plain, or a mix of plain and wholemeal, or even a mix of semolina, plain and wholemeal (as I do). But weigh it, and make sure it comes to 500gm. Not 501gm. Not 499 gm. 500gm.
350gm water - yes, weigh the water. I normally make a mix of 30gm of olive oil and 320gm water. Whatever mix you use, it must weigh 350gm in total.
10gm of yeast and 10gm of flour.
That's it. Throw it all in a mixer, put in the dough hook and go and blog for 10 minutes.
Come back, turn the dough into a floured bowl, cover with a teatowel and go to the pool for an hour.
Get home, cook, eat and then lie around feeling very fat.
I have made it a few times before, but have never had to suffer through cutting up enough onions to make a kilo of sliced onion. The recipe, which comes from Donna Hay, calls for double that, but I never would have survived the slicing of 2kg of onion. As it was, it took me four goes to slice this much (which I think came to 12 onions).
You get a nice big pot, like my Le Cruesett (or however you spell it) and heat it up to medium heat, then toss in a lot of olive oil. Coat the bottom of that sucker, don't be scared of a bit of oil. When it's heated up, chuck in the onions, stir them to break them up then whack the lid on.
Come back every 15 minutes and give them another stir. At the half hour mark, you might have to scrape a few caramelised bits off the base. Cook them for 40-60 minutes - however long it takes them to go a nice brown colour.
For 1kg of onions, throw in half a cup of brown sugar and half a cup of red wine vinegar, plus salt and pepper to taste. I also like to toss in a handful of sage, and you can also throw in things like apple and currants if it takes your fancy. I used white wine vinegar today, and I am not sure if it made any difference.
That much sugar makes it a bit too sweet for me, but I do not have super-sweet taste buds.
How was it on pizza?
Bloody magnificent, if I say so myself.
Instead of using drained and squished tinned tomatoes to make the sauce, I bought a small tub of semi-dried tomatoes from the local woggery, plus tried oven drying a kilo of my own, and munched that up the blender with some garlic and salt to make an excellent pizza sauce. It did need a splash of balsamic vinegar though, and a small amount of sugar.
If you want to know why the average westerner is ingesting so much sugar these days, try making a pizza tomato sauce without sugar. Then keep adding sugar until it tastes like the shit that gets delivered. You'll probably have made a sauce that is 50% red stuff and 50% sugar.
I also make my own dough, because J prefers a dough that is about 30% wholemeal flour, and I have come to like it too. It has more texture than the usual lily-white shite that comes in a cardboard box. The trick is to buy some digital scales for weighing the ingredients. I thought weighing stuff to make dough was a complete crock - until I tried doing it for myself.
I usually make 3 pizzas for 3 of us, and on average, one goes in the fridge for snacks the next day. Enough dough for that many pizzas requires:
500gm flour - you can use all plain, or a mix of plain and wholemeal, or even a mix of semolina, plain and wholemeal (as I do). But weigh it, and make sure it comes to 500gm. Not 501gm. Not 499 gm. 500gm.
350gm water - yes, weigh the water. I normally make a mix of 30gm of olive oil and 320gm water. Whatever mix you use, it must weigh 350gm in total.
10gm of yeast and 10gm of flour.
That's it. Throw it all in a mixer, put in the dough hook and go and blog for 10 minutes.
Come back, turn the dough into a floured bowl, cover with a teatowel and go to the pool for an hour.
Get home, cook, eat and then lie around feeling very fat.
Bugs
I am making pizza tonight, and one of the things that I want to put on one of them is onion jam. When I make onion jam, or onion relish, I like to add a bit of sage. We have a nice little sage bush growing in the backyard, but I noticed last week that it was starting to grow holes in the leaves.
Today, I found out why - notice the green bug having a feed on this leaf. It looks like a baby grasshopper, but it could be something ele.
I just wish the little buggers would eat one leaf at a time, rather than taking a chunk out of this one and this on and this one and this one and this one and so on.
Today, I found out why - notice the green bug having a feed on this leaf. It looks like a baby grasshopper, but it could be something ele.
I just wish the little buggers would eat one leaf at a time, rather than taking a chunk out of this one and this on and this one and this one and this one and so on.
Saturday, 23 February 2008
Heston Blumenthal
Today I was fortunate enough to be inducted into that select group of people that have watched a few episodes of "In Search of Perfection", which is fronted up by chef-man, Heston Blumenthal.
His series is a delightful change to Jamie, who I am starting to get a bit sick of.
I really liked the third episode, which shows how to cook the perfect steak. There is no point in me trying to describe the episode, since you can acquire it via the usual means (and he has a book out as well, probably available in ABC Shops). All I can suggest is that you have a look at this one episode (if you like steak) because:
The other episodes are also well worth a watch.
His series is a delightful change to Jamie, who I am starting to get a bit sick of.
I really liked the third episode, which shows how to cook the perfect steak. There is no point in me trying to describe the episode, since you can acquire it via the usual means (and he has a book out as well, probably available in ABC Shops). All I can suggest is that you have a look at this one episode (if you like steak) because:
- It is an absolute marvel, and
- It will make you very hungry
- For steak
The other episodes are also well worth a watch.
Wednesday, 9 January 2008
Breakfast of champions
I spent nearly $10 on a cycling mag this week and all that I have learned so far is that I should be eating baked beans on (wholemeal) toast for breakfast. It something to do with their low GI level and something else that I forget.
To hell with that.
I have been working for months on trying to replicate the omelet that I normally order at Circle, which is an excellent Balmain cafe. I like to bag Balmain, but there are some good things there. Like Circle. Interesting thing is that it is run by a bunch of churchy types. You can't eat there on a Sunday because the bloody Uniting Church or some other mob of God-botherers will be belting out hymns inside.
The omelet that I like is ham, tomato and goats cheese, and they throw in herbes fines for free. I have tried for months to produce something similar at home, and I'm finally getting something that I like.
First tip - only use two eggs. Three produces an omelet that is too thick and it doesn't cook quickly.
Second - use lots of butter, and get it hot. I don't eat this with toast, so I figure I might as well cook it in the butter that I would normally cook it in, plus what I would have put on the toast. Just bite the bullet and put lots in the pan.
Third, less is more. Don't try to stuff it full of ingredients. Be frugal.
Fourth, use fresh herbs. We grow quite a few in the back yard, and I throw in a good chunk of parsley and chives.
I normally use ash-rolled goats cheese, but I made the mistake last week of buying herb infused goats cheese. I thought that would stuff my creation, but it actually improved it. So my next tip is "shop with the Force".
I must have made about 30 omelets before they started to turn out the way I wanted them, so tip number six is to practice, practice, practice.
But what is the brown stuff in the bottom left hand corner? It's not ham, it's not cheese, it's not herbs and it is not tomato. What is it?
Truffles.
J gave me a big jar of truffles in brine for Christmas, so I have been throwing a stack into my omelet. My next tip is "Don't go out and buy truffles for your omelet". They add a certain amount of cachet, but I am not convinced that they make it any better.
But they sure beat the crap out of beans on toast.
To hell with that.
I have been working for months on trying to replicate the omelet that I normally order at Circle, which is an excellent Balmain cafe. I like to bag Balmain, but there are some good things there. Like Circle. Interesting thing is that it is run by a bunch of churchy types. You can't eat there on a Sunday because the bloody Uniting Church or some other mob of God-botherers will be belting out hymns inside.
The omelet that I like is ham, tomato and goats cheese, and they throw in herbes fines for free. I have tried for months to produce something similar at home, and I'm finally getting something that I like.
First tip - only use two eggs. Three produces an omelet that is too thick and it doesn't cook quickly.
Second - use lots of butter, and get it hot. I don't eat this with toast, so I figure I might as well cook it in the butter that I would normally cook it in, plus what I would have put on the toast. Just bite the bullet and put lots in the pan.
Third, less is more. Don't try to stuff it full of ingredients. Be frugal.
Fourth, use fresh herbs. We grow quite a few in the back yard, and I throw in a good chunk of parsley and chives.
I normally use ash-rolled goats cheese, but I made the mistake last week of buying herb infused goats cheese. I thought that would stuff my creation, but it actually improved it. So my next tip is "shop with the Force".
I must have made about 30 omelets before they started to turn out the way I wanted them, so tip number six is to practice, practice, practice.
But what is the brown stuff in the bottom left hand corner? It's not ham, it's not cheese, it's not herbs and it is not tomato. What is it?
Truffles.
J gave me a big jar of truffles in brine for Christmas, so I have been throwing a stack into my omelet. My next tip is "Don't go out and buy truffles for your omelet". They add a certain amount of cachet, but I am not convinced that they make it any better.
But they sure beat the crap out of beans on toast.
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