Sunday, 24 February 2008

Pizza question number 1

Q. How do you get your completely crap oven hot enough for pizza?

A. I don't.

My oven sucks. It sucks dead dog's balls. It reckons it can get up to 200, but that's like the speedo in a small Hyundai saying that the car can do 200. Yeah, right.

I have tried putting my pizza stones into the oven, then turning on the griller and leaving the door closed, but all that does is set the smoke detector off. So I have been experimenting with pre-heating the oven for half an hour at the hottest setting, then turning on the griller for 5 minutes to crank it even higher, and then pulling the stones out to make the pizza.

There are the odd occasions when the oven amazes me by producing a pizza in less than 10 minutes, and one with a crispy base at that. But those occasions are about as common as the second coming of Jesus. The more normal process is for me to make the pizza, check it after 10 minutes, find the base is still soggy, give it another 5 minutes (ditto) and then come back after another 5 minutes to find that the base is approaching an acceptable level of crunch, but the topping has gone black and crispy.

Never skimp on the oven. Life is too short to eat shitty pizza.

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