Health care promises are all bollocks

I have to see the quack again this week about my knee. It just isn't healing up as quickly as I thought it would.

The medical practice that I go to is a microcosm of what bedevils all efforts at improving our health care system.

The medical centre has three receptionists. It is an aberration as far as medical clinics go, in that one of them is quite cheerful and nice. Normally, medical receptionists are complete cows. The other two are cows, but one out of three is pretty good going.

There are six doctors. Three are excellent, and I always try and get them. If I can't get them, I delay going until such time as they are available - unless I am near death. Two are mediocre and one is downright dangerous - our own version of Dr Death. I avoid her at all costs - even if I am near death.

When the practice started, it probably consisted of the three good doctors. Things picked up, and they had to recruit more. But good doctors are in short supply, so they ended up with two mediocre ones. Then they needed someone else, and they got stuck with Dr Death. If they need to recruit someone else, they will probably end up with a psychotic serial killer in disguise.

In any profession, there are only so many good people to go around. A sports competition can be ruined by including too many teams - there are only enough excellent and good players to fill so many teams. After that, quality drops off very quickly. What is true of sport is true of IT, politics, restaurant waiters, winemakers, car designers, shop keepers, hair dressers, singers, actors, teachers and "health care professionals".

I put health care professionals in inverted commas because not all of them are professionals. It's doubtful that some even realise that they are working in the health care industry. The problem as I see it though is that doctors and nurses are put on a pedestal and treated as if they are untouchable. Or at least their associations and unions do their best to stick them on pedestals, which makes them beyond criticism or sacking.

Even teams that have just won the grand final go through a process of selecting new blood and weeding out the weakest. Just because they were the best team this year, it doesn't mean that they will be the best next year. They have to keep adjusting the makeup of the team to stay on top.

There are bloody useless doctors, nurses and teachers out there. They need to be ruthlessly weeded out and moved into new professions, even if that involves sitting in a humpy at Byron weaving baskets. We'll all be better off if they are removed on a regular basis.

As soon as something becomes sacrosanct, it is fucked.