Sunday, 11 January 2009

Pimp my speed camera

Personally, I think speed cameras suck. They suck because as a deterrent, they suck.

Nothing deters a speeder more (in my book) than being pulled over and watching a cop approaching from behind in the driver's side mirror. The guilt is immediate. Getting a fine in the post a month later produces no such emotion. I have no doubt the speed camera policy was originally promoted by a tool of a hippy policy advisor that found being pulled over by a cop "too confrontational".

Bloody hippies. They should all be drowned in vats of tofu. It's supposed to be confronting, you god-damned wierd-beard! The emotional bomb that goes off in your chest when you get pulled over is a bloody good way to modify most people's behaviour - that's the idea.

Don't get me started on hippies and their rampantly stupid and anti-logic ideologies.

Built is an excellent way to control the behaviour of people. Don't take it from me - go talk to the Catholic Church about it.

I've had enough speeders and drunks crash into me whilst I have been innocently driving somewhere, so I have no tolerance for speed and/or alcohol whatsoever. If something needs to be stamped out, we should use the most effective methods to stamp it out. Cameras are a pathetic means of doing so. Sure, they raise lots of money, but that's not the point. If they were effective, surely the amount of money they raised would decline each year as people stopped speeding!

What we need is more cops on motorbikes, ala CHiPS (but without the 1977 haircuts).

If we can't abolish them, the next best thing to do is to pimp them.

Originating from Wootton High School, the parent said, students duplicate the license plates by printing plate numbers on glossy photo paper, using fonts from certain websites that "mimic" those on Maryland license plates. They tape the duplicate plate over the existing plate on the back of their car and purposefully speed through a speed camera, the parent said. The victim then receives a citation in the mail days later.

If anyone wants to perform a great act of public service, they should walk through the NSW parliamentary car park and take down the registration number of every car there, then publish them, along with the make and model of car. Pimpers can then go nuts. We could run a book on which ministers and their minders would be the first to lose their license. My favourite would be trying to pick how long it would take all politicians and their advisors to lose their licenses.

Knowing the bloody-mindedness of Sydney drivers, I give it two weeks.

But the really fun part would be watching all these clowns taking public transport for a few months before someone blew the whistle on what happened. Or riding bikes.

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