I used to enjoy listening to Wil Anderson on TripleJ. Even saw him do a live show once - he was pretty funny. This week, I even got to have lunch with him.
Well, not exactly. I was sitting at the bar at one of those sushi train places, and he plonked down beside me. I usually take no interest in my fellow sushi-scoffers, so I did not realise it was him until we both got up to pay.
He sat there reading torn out pages of what looked like New Idea. Why? I have no idea. He was making notes on them too. He might have been looking for pointers for a new comedy routine, but it is just as likely that he was looking at Rove McManus and writing "Die, you fucker, so I can take over your show".
Things to note - he ate nine plates of sushi. All of it of the cheap variety. I ate 7, which is more than I normally put away, but I was looking at his pile when I got to five and I thought, "If he can do that many, then I should not be worried about having another two bits of eel on rice".
He also ate very fast. He just grabbed those plates off the train and stuffed that sushi in. He sat down next to me when I was on plate 2 or 3, and he put away 9 plates and got up to pay before I had eaten another 4. And I am not exactly a slow eater. I normally hoover up food like a ... Dyson.
I paid him no attention because I was totally transfixed by the two women on the other side of me. One had clearly just broken up with her boyfriend, and she was completely miserable and in need of a good cry. Which is exactly what her friend recommended that she do. Not in the restuarant, thank goodness, but possibly when she got home and hopped in the bath. Without the toaster.
What utterly fascinated me is that I sat there for 5 plates of sushi, listening to her go on and on and on about how terrible she felt and how miserable she was and how her life was now a steaming pile of shit, and then...
....her phone rang.
She answered it with a very perky hello. Then she went on to say: "I'm fine thanks! Top of the world! Feeling great. Everything is good!"
I figured that she had to be in sales.
How on earth did she manage to switch from near suicidal to completely perky in less than a second flat? I almost fell off my chair when I heard that.
Which just goes to show that electronic surveillance is over rated. You are more at risk of being eaves dropped on by someone at a sushi train than by say ASIO.
My final summation: chicks are wierd.
And so is Wil Anderson. He needs to grow out of thongs and jeans that are too long so that the cuffs are all frayed. He's starting to look old... kind of like I am. Welcome to old-farthood, Wil.