Thursday 23 July 2009

It snot fair

Who cares about swine flu - this blasted lurgie that I contracted nearly a month ago is just refusing to quit. After being too crook to ride for a few weeks, I clambered back into the saddle this week and started riding to work on a consistent basis.

Riding has been wonderful for clearing all the crud out of my pipes, especially on the colder mornings. The frigid air racing through the nostrils acts like a cold nasal enema. I calculated this morning that I had to blow my nose every 2.5 kms, and the amount of muck discharged on each ocasion was quite incredible. I left a trail of green pavement slugs all the way into the city, but there was one that failed to get away properly.

Clearing the nasal passages whilst riding requires commitment and follow through. Once you lean your head out to one side and start to blow, you have to give that nostril a complete lung full of expelled air, and you have to blast away until the lung has no more to give. The faint of heart pay a price, as I did this week. You see, if you fail to honk away at full power, your snot fails to achieve escape velocity, and won't clear your body properly. I gave up halfway through a blow, thinking that my nose was empty, but there was a bit of follow-through at the back that was slow to make itself known. Just as I gave up on the puff, out it came.

However, instead of hurling itself past my body at high speed, like people desperate to get away from a Kevin Rudd speech, it half-heartedly dribbled out of my nose and finished up on my sleeve. I had created a green, slimy version of the Nike swoosh - something I doubt that company will adopt anytime soon.

Commitment and follow through. That's what you need.

1 comment:

Richard_H said...

Dunno about the clearing the sinus's thing.

Had a sniffle for a couple of weeks, nothing serious, and so have been able to ride a lot. The sniffle sure hasn't gone anywhere, damnit....