Ow

I have had an incredibly sore bum all week. Not the freckle - more the muscles and perhaps the bit around the tailbone. I didn't think I was overdoing it when I went for a ride last weekend, but Monday was agony. I was hobbling around the office everytime I got up to get a coffee. Tuesday was bad as well, and I was amazed when I was still sore on Wednesday. Even now, nearly a week later, I am still a bit tender around the tailbone.

I didn't crash. I didn't fall off the bike and land on something hard, like a road. I don't remember a suicidal magpie swooping at me, misjudging the swoop and crashing into my arse.

The only thing left to do is blame the RTA. I must have bashed into some pot holes that were a bit nastier than usual, and bruised the bottom that way. That wouldn't be a surprise, given how nasty some of the roads in this neck of the woods can be, but I don't remember crashing into any elephant-hiding pot holes either.

That could mean that I am so used to kerlunking into suspension shattering pot holes that I no longer notice them. I have been thinking about getting the can of line marking spray paint out of the shed and taking it with me in order to mark all the particularly horrible hazards that I encounter on the average ride, but a single $10 can would only last me about 5 kilometres. Some roads would have to be painted yellow from end to end.

The only reasonable solution that I can think of is to find an RTA manager, hold them down, take their pants off and use a cigarette lighter to turn the can of line marking paint into a flame thrower. Your imagination can supply the rest.