Saturday, 4 April 2009

What is it with modern fly sprays?

Jeez, using fly spray used to be fun as a kid. You'd give the fly a short, sharp dose of Mortein and it would literally explode in mid air, scattering wings and legs and body parts in all directions. But one knew never to leave the finger on the button for too long, because the stuff coming out of the can was nasty. Best to spray the little bastard and then leave the room. Or the house. Or even take a short holiday overseas whilst the fumes dissipated.

Using modern fly sprays, which generally don't sear the nasal passages and lungs like the old ones, is much more of a chore.

You spray the fly.

It keeps flying. You might detect a small wiggle as it gets hit by a few droplets, but they generally don't impede his progress much.

You spray again. Fly keeps going.

You spray again. Fly keeps going around and around.

You search the kitchen for a cigarette lighter, return to the room and use the can of fly spray as a flame thrower. Ah, that does the trick. Burning fly with no wings or legs is heading for the carpet.

Oops, the walls are on fire though.

What is the point of selling fly spray that refuses to kill flies? Have we gone so eco-friendly that the makers of Mortein and other noxious chemicals can't bring themselves to kill annoying insects anymore? Do we just waft essence of lavender at them and hope that they leave?

I can see a return to fly swats coming on.

Is this progress? Why invent an enormous chemical industry if we can't use it to produce fly spray in Bophal strength?

The world is going to hell in a hand basket.

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