Why Abbotsford?

Why has David Hicks decided to pitch his tent in Abbotsford?

Because it is a lovely, whitebread kind of place.

He can't live in the East - it's full of Jews. I don't think he'd be too happy living in Vaucluse, which a friend of mine once described as "Vaujews". I'd live there - I'd love to live there, but I don't think he'd want to be surrounded by yarmulkes.

He can't go much further west than here, because then he would hit Auburn and places like that, and given that he is a prolapsed carpet head-banger, he'd have his throat slit faster than a goat at a feast. So the western suburbs are out.

The north shore would be a bit too la-di-da for David. It's full of merchant bankers, lawyers, stockbrokers and blonde women in pink jumpers driving a Volvo with a labrador in the back. I doubt a working class hick would be comfortable there. He'd have to understand what a latte is for starters.

The inner city would probably be a turn-off as well. I can't see him hanging around with all the fags and trannies in Darlinghurst and Paddington, and I don't think his ex-religion would endear him to the lesbians of Newtown.

I don't know what he makes of the Chinese. If he is as much of a white supremacist as I think he is, I doubt he would want to live in town, since it is wall to wall Asian students. No chow mein for David.

So it has to be the inner west. Abbotsford is a good choice for any KKK member, since it is about as white and non-Jewish a suburb as you can think of, and unlike say Cronulla, it is unlikely to contain any journalists.

I ride through Abbotsford a lot, and I ride through the back streets quite regularly (you do that kind of thing on a bike - you just go, "Hey, I wonder what's down there?", and take a left turn and go and stooge around). I have an idea of what Abottsford looks like in terms of it's racial makeup, and I can tell you that it is white, white, white. There is not a pair of slitty eyes or a patch of darkened skin to be seen. There are plenty of wogs (it is next to Five Wog after all), but there are nowhere near as many of them as in our suburb next door.

In short, I think he will be very relaxed and comfortable there.