Tuesday, 25 March 2008

Never trust a coffee shop that serves a latte in a glass with a handle

I have this iron law of eating out. If you order a latte and it turns up in a vessel like the one pictured below, the coffee will be bad and the food completely crap.

I have tested this law many times in every state and territory of Australia and NZ, and it always holds true. I am yet to find an exception.

The weekend in Canberra added more weight to the rule. The coffee shown above was barely drinkable. My omellete was appaling. J ordered eggs florentine and the eggs came out hard poached (rather than soft) and the dish had been put under a griller and the sauce had been grilled until it was crispy! What the fuck were they thinking.....

We were discussing what to get Monkey for breakfast, and J proposed a poached egg whilst I opted for boiled. My reasoning was that the proper way to poach an egg is to do it in water with plenty of vinegar, and he probably wouldn't like the taste. We opted for a boiled egg, with me using the throwaway line of, "I am sure the chef knows how to soft boil an egg".

Umm, as it turns out, he didn't. We got a hard boiled egg.

Who the fuck employs a cook that can't soft boil an egg?

The same dildos I guess that serve coffee in a thing with a handle.

To cap it off, when I went to pay the bill, the dozy wench at the counter asked me which table we were sitting at.

We were the only people in the cafe at the time.

If you walk past 5 cafes and 4 are bursting at the seams and the last is inhabited by a wino and his dog, do not take the soft option and choose the eat there. Go and queue up at one of the other four.

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