Sunday, 7 September 2008

Kaboom! Just open fire on the bastards

Kaboom provided the perfect answer to how to terminate car chases with this quote:

In order to end these problems with the police pursuit psychology, my theory has always been "don't chase, just open fire!".

Here's another cop story for you from my mate the ex-copper. He was chasing a Landcruiser one night being driven by a couple of teenage blackfella petrol sniffers/chromers/off their nut car thieves.

There was no way the driver would ever pull over, since they enjoyed being chased by the cops (for the rush), so my mate poked a shotgun out the passenger window and blew out the rear tyre on the Landcruiser.

The driver of course lost control and rolled it, and a carload of blackfellas ended up face down in the dirt, each sporting a new set of handcuffs.

They now had a small problem - how to explain the blown rear tyre.

A quick trip to the rubbish tip solved that. The town in question had many, many 4WD's, so the tip was well supplied with 4WD tyres of all makes and models. They quickly located one of the right size, did a swap and hey presto - the crash report was written up about a Landcruiser on its roof with 4 inflated tyres and a blackfella who "lost control".

When it went to court, the blackfellas all complained about their tyre being shot out, but the judge took one look at the photos of the upside down Landcruiser with four intact tyres and locked them all up.

Me, I'd make that the SOP*, but without worrying about the pretense of having to replace the tyre. My message to those that refuse to stop would be, "You will be able to drive rapidly until such time as we can cock and aim our weapons".

Car chases should last a maximum of 15 seconds and maybe half a dozen rounds.

* SOP = Standard Operating Procedure. Your TLA** for the day.

**TLA = Three Letter Acronym

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