Monday 21 July 2008

Wogs kill Gloria Jean's

I couldn't believe the audacity (or stupidity) of the marketing manager that decided that Five Wog would be a good location to open a chain coffee shop. Balmain has a Starbucks, but I understand that they are willing to stomach 5 years of losses at that site in order to maintain a presence.

Gloria Jean's does not appear to have survived that long in Five Wog. This shop has been closed for a couple of weeks now, although there is no sign on the door to say whether they are closed for good, or whether the owner is having a bit of a holiday somewhere else.

I suspect they are gone for good, killed off by the old-style wogeria's that dominate Five Wog. (A wogeria is like a wog cafeteria, or cafe). I think the first mistake they made was employing staff that couldn't speak Italian - that's a disaster for any business around here. When I go to my favourite wog deli, which sells the most marvelous double smoked ham and other Italian delights, I often get shunted from the mama who only speaks Italian to one of the English speaking kids. It's that kind of place.

I miss Gloria Jean's because they did a reasonable imitation of an iced coffee, because like many West Australians, I am very fond of such a drink. The beverage that Gloria Jean's lists as "iced coffee" on their menu is hardly drinkable, but those in the know ask for an "iced latte", and all is good in the world from that point on.

I think I would be lynched if I asked for an iced coffee in any of the wogeria's, so I am reduced to making it at home.

The funny thing is that most of the coffee served in the wogeria's up and down Great North Road is crap. Utter crap. There is the occasional island of excellence, but most of the coffee served up around here tastes like carbonated toast.

1 comment:

kae said...

Ahh. Gloria Jeans,
They're everywhere up here. I love their mochamacadamia latte. Yum.
But don't try to talk with the kids behind the counter, don't talk about the weather, don't suggest that "Cookies" doesn't have an apostrophe.

They'll look at you like you have two heads.