Junior hopped on his bike this morning with the intention of meeting us at a park. By the time he got there, he had replicated like a single cell organism and there was him and a mate. After messing around for a while, they disappeared. We went home, and shortly after flopping on the couch, the door opened and we found that the two of them had divided again into four. They proceeded to raid the (new and enlarged) freezer, making off with every icecream in sight. I am worried that when they return for more sustenance, there will be 8 of the little monsters to feed.
They're like tribbles.
The worst of it was that they made off with my cache of smoked salmon. It was what they really came back for.
Think about that. A bunch of 13 year olds chuffing down smoked salmon. And not just any smoked salmon - I made a trip to a very swisho gourmet shoppe in order to purchase a packet of Tetsuya's salmon, which might as well be gold plated for the price they charge. I did this more out of curiosity than anything else - if we are all going to be living out of shoe boxes next year and subsisting on pebbles and cold tea, we might as well find out how super-gourmet salmon stacks up against the more run-of-the-mill variety while we can still afford to eat.
But I intended to do the testing myself, rather than outsourcing it to a gaggle of KFC-devouring youngsters.
I can see that our fridge might end up looking like Mel Gibson's in "Conspiracy Theory", with everything being kept in separate locked containers.
I'm sure Junior is going to return from his latest expedition saying, "All the guys want to eat over here from now on - the food is much better than what they get at home".
God - a house full of them.