I hate women who go shopping, unload all their stuff at the checkout, watch it all being put through the scanner, and just stand there like a dopey cow breathing through their mouth. The cashier totals it all up, turns and reads the total amount, and then they start searching through their handbag for their purse.
A few minutes later, after extracting their purse, they start searching for a method of payment. Shall I pay cash, or use a credit card? If I use a credit card, which shall I use? Visa? Mastercard? If so, from which bank shall I select a credit card? Hmm, do I also have a FlyBuys card or other loyalty card for this store? I must have - it's in here somewhere.....
It's around then that I wish that I had put a can of flammable fly spray and a lighter in my trolley. A quick flame thrower squirt to the hair of dopey cow should set her on fire enough to get her out of the way and into an ambulance, thus allowing me to proceed through the checkout at a reasonable pace.
I will get really depressed if stores start sticking up signs at the checkout saying things like "Please get your credit card out NOW". It will be a sad indicator of how many dopey people exist in our population. I will have to blame welfare as usual - if they weren't handed money each fortnight by the government, they would have starved to death years ago, and would not be causing so many foulups in our supermarkets.
In fact the productivity of our nation could be considerably improved by removing these oafs from our supermarkets altogether. I just wish supermarkets could ban the dopey, leaving them to stand around outside begging people walking in to buy them a loaf of bread.
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