Friday 9 April 2010

Snot bracelet

Yes, it has been a slow week for posting. I've been laid out with the flu, and not up to doing much apart from grumbling and snoring in bed. I took a tentative ride yesterday, which turned out to be a big mistake. I felt like complete crap during the ride, and even worse afterwards. It took a few pills to tone down the headache that came on after getting home, and I conked out early and slept for 10 hours straight.

Today was much better. I woke up feeling chipper, and after a few kilometres, I found that I was largely flu-free. Apart from the green, porridge-like leftovers in my lungs.

About 10km from home, I hit a pot hole and scored an immediate pinch flat. That's where you hit something with an edge so hard, the tube splits. It's not a puncture, where something sharp penetrates the tyre and flattens the tube. At least it was the front tyre, meaning I didn't have to mess with a greasy chain.

It was pretty cool at that time of the morning, and the combination of a bit of riding and the cold air caused all the built up snot in my lungs and nose to come loose. After fixing the flat and putting the wheel back on, I thought I'd do a bit of nose clearing before moving off.

Big mistake. When you are moving at speed, anything you blow out of your nose tends to clear the body quite nicely. I managed to blow an enormous lurgie straight onto my forearm, where it sat like a disembodied jellyfish that had been coated in superglue before being applied to my arm. I tried wiping it on my knicks, but all that did was mash it into the hairs on my arm. I was just going to have to put up with it until I got into the shower.

Once I got going, it dried into a hard green crust that looked like it was going to require a paint scraper to dislodge. And then the left over bits in my nostrils dried into crusts, and I knew that I couldn't pick them off - because of the tyre change, my fingers were coated in black tyre and road dust, and if I picked my nose, I'd end up with tell tale black smears around my nostrils. I'd just have to put up with that too.


bh said...

Hey BOAB, TMI ;-)

It is starting to get a bit difficult to pass cyclists these days, without trying to keep a bit of extra distance because of the possible snot hazard emanating from them! Your snotty posts aren't helping!

M said...

Just couldn't resist reading a post with the title 'snot bracelet'! Gross, but still strangely fascinating.

Hello to all Chez BOAB.

commoncents said...

Thank You for posting this! I really like your blog!!
Common Cents

ps. Link Exchange??