The piffle has started

Who writes this garbage?

The President is scheduled to meet his high-powered team of economic advisors as he tries to push a trillion-dollar stimulus package through Congress designed to kick-start the staggering economy and create or save millions of jobs.

"High-powered"? A rifle is high-powered. Economics advisors with guns are people to avoid. But shooting advisors that provide poor advice might help to "encourage the others" to get it right next time - or shut up.

"tries to push"? The Democrats are salivating at the thought of approving the largest barrel of pork in the history of the planet. A billion pigs will have to be sacrificed to supply all that pork. There are not enough pigs in China to provide that much pork. He doesn't need to "push" his package - if anything, he needs to act in a dignified manner as Congress snatches it out of his hands and whacks it with a huge rubber stamp (made in China).

"designed to kick-start"? You kick-start motorbikes. You have to start them because when you finish your journey, you switch the motorbike off. An economy never stops moving. Does anyone imagine that the economy, like the TV test patterns of old, goes to sleep at 10 o'clock at night, and needs to be "kick-started" by the Treasurer at 6am? Presumably after the crowing of a rooster?

"staggering economy"? Gee, did you just see the economy stagger out of that pub? It lurched over there and vomited in that rubbish bin, then it curled up in that park over the road and went to sleep. It's been burping and farting and snoring all night. And the stench! Staggering - pfft.

"create or save millions of jobs"? What is a job? Is it like a whale? We are fond of saving whales from being stabbed with an explody-harpoon, then thin sliced and served on top of tasty morsels of rice, but in the end, even those "saved" whales die. Of natural causes. Unless whales live forever, like the Rolling Stones. But jobs are the same - no job lasts forever. The continual process of creative destruction, of technological and social progress, ensures that many of the jobs that existed when we were born will have disappeared by the time we die - or even by the time we hit middle age. Met a chimney sweep lately? Or anyone that mines coal by hand? Char maids seem pretty rare, and the job of bookkeeper has been superceded by accountants and financial controllers. Companies come and go too - Sydney is littered with department stores that were all the rage in the 1920's, and have since ceased to be. You can no more save a job than hope to live forever - even the North Koreans are going to find that out one day, when there will no longer be a need for bum-wipers to the Kim dynasty.

It gets worse:

"He used this opportunity on his first day in office to communicate his commitment to active engagement in pursuit of Arab-Israeli peace from the beginning of his term," said Mr Gibbs

Try reading that slowly, and then try and figure out what he meant. What a carton of spawning frog shit.

"He used this opportunity" - he made a phone call.

"to communicate his commitment" - meaning, "next time you start shooting at each other, I will make some mighty pronouncements. With pauses in appropriate places." He might as well have said, "I am committed to commitment", or "I am committed to committing to commitment".

"active engagement" - meaning, "I'm sending Hillary. Thanks for getting her off my hands".

"in pursuit" - meaning, we never intend to actually get anywhere - we'll just run around in circles for a while, looking busy and saying that we are pursuing something, anything - even if we are pursuing our tails.

Gibberish. Utter gibberish. And the papers print it like it's holy gospel.

What a pack of fungus covered arseholes.