OK, maybe this will take more than one minute. I have to make it quick, as I need to go for a ride this morning to work off some sheep, err, I mean love handles.
"Never in my life have I seen a politician walk through my street," mother-of-seven Debbie-Jo Thompson, 32, said yesterday.
"Come down and walk through here. I want to know what they do for the children in the community."
"It's like we're the forgotten people. It's like we don't exist."
Here's my question to Debbie-Jo, she of the ridiculous double-barrelled first name - why should we pay any attention to you? Here's the deal - we work and pay tax, you take our tax dollars and live on our contributions. I don't want to see you, I don't want to hear about you, I don't want to read about you, I don't care about your existence. I just pay my money to you, in an indirect fashion, and that is all the contact with you that I want. Take my money and shut the fuck up!
Why should we pay you any attention? Have you done anything worthwhile with your life? Have you invented something? Have you created an interesting piece of art? Have you entertained and thrilled us with your sporting prowess? Have you enriched your community with voluntary work? Have you started a company and built something special? Have you done anything to improve our physical, spiritual or moral world?
No. All you've done is squeeze out 7 kids by the age of 32, and I bet you are on your back each night, getting ready to pop out a few more before your uterus gives up on you. You've sponged off us for your entire life. Your brood are unfortunately reasonably likely to turn out just like you - idlers, wasters, demanding "respect" and more money from those of us that work.
Where the fuck are ACOSS when clowns like her get in the paper? I just want to see some dimwit from ACOSS parading this mother and her brood in front of the cameras and demanding that more money should be tipped into social welfare.
But oh no, they will never do that - because it wouldn't look good. ACOSS will roll out someone much less likely to enrage the taxpayers - an 80 year old war widow for instance. How I hate ACOSS.
Debbie-Jo is a terrible symptom of our entitlement culture. Here I go, starting to sound like Theodore Dalrymple - but he's proven right every time one of these clowns pops up in the media.
I put off the idea of having kids until I had achieved an income where I thought I could support them properly. [The fact that they arrived unexpectedly is another matter]. The thought of deliberately having children that I could not provide for never crossed my mind.
The problem with the Debbie-Jo's of this world is that they think the other way around. The state will provide, so I will divide (so to speak). Then she finds out that the state doesn't provide everything, but instead of ceasing her production of thieving bandicoots, she pumps out more - and then complains! She would never see her own failings as the root causes of her problems.
Here are some hypothetical conversations.
Debbie-Jo: "I can't get a job, because I don't read real well".
Me: "Did you have problems at school?"
DJ: "Nah, I stopped going to school at 13. Hung round the shops instead, smoking dope."
That of course is the fault of the Education Department and her teachers and society. Not.
Me: "Where is the father of your children?"
DJ: "One died of a drug overdose, 3 are in prison, one shot through to Queensland, and the other two are living in this street with other women."
Me: "Do any of them provide financial or other support?"
DJ: (snorting beer out through her nose) "You must be jokin', right?"
Me: "Then why did you hook up with them in the first place? Did you not evaluate them as a potential provider first?"
DJ: "Nah, I just got pissed and had a root. Got pregnant the first time at 14 after a root behind the fish and chip shop. Darren - he was real good at stealing smokes from the corner store. He provided."
All that can be blamed on society, or the government, or someone else - like the owner of the fish and chip shop (stabbed to death in 2003 in a failed robbery).
I could go on all morning, but the bike is calling.
I'd like to see a new version of Big Brother come out. I never could stand that show, but I think I could be enticed to watch it with one modification.
Each week, we vote on who to take out and shoot.
The house is packed with the usual number of self indulgent, respect demanding, attention seeking wastoids, and we listen to them piss and moan for a week, then decide which one is the biggest menace to society - the biggest loser - and we eliminate them.
After the worst half dozen have been shot, the remainder might start to work out that unless they change their ways, they too will be next in front of the firing squad. We then get the choice of shooting them or letting them go, in the hope that they will start to live fulfilling, productive lives.
Those that we do let out would be fitted with an explosive collar around their neck. A separate camera crew would follow them around for a few weeks as they tried to get a job, or go back to school and learn to read, and we'd laugh and hoot and holler as they tried to convince potential employees that they wouldn't steal all the tools from the building site and fence them down the pub, that they wouldn't take the company car and crash it whilst drunk, that they'd give up the bong before breakfast and show up for work before 11am and so on.
Then, when we'd become sick of their pathetic antics, we'd all dial a number and watch their heads explode.
That's what I call entertainment.
As an aside, notice how the Federal Government has finally stopped setting up this-watch and that-watch? That's a pity, as they could set up one called "loser-watch". Loser-watch would monitor the behaviour of tens of thousands of losers like Debbie-Jo. Each week, the site would be updated with their status. Got a job yet? Moved out of public housing? Had a week without a visit from the Police/DOCS/some other soft-cock government agency? Done any property damage this week? Results of weekly drug test come back clean (for once)? Given up smoking? Did any of your kids go to school this week? Did any of them pass a test? Avoid getting pregnant? Went a week without getting a new tattoo? Traded in your hoon-mobile for something sensible? Cooked a meal for the kids?
This would give the long suffering taxpayer a view into how the money that has been lifted from their wallets is being spent. We could track how these people are going on the "ladder of opportunity".
Wouldn't that be something?