Friday, 24 April 2009

May they all die in fiery car crashes

There is a street not far from here where I almost cleaned up an idiot yesterday.

The street is straight, but narrows sharply about halfway down so that if cars are parked ineptly on either side of the road, you might have to stop to allow cars coming the other way to get through. It is pot holed like an Iraqi road that has seen a spate of roadside bombings. It is a rough, narrow lumpen kind of transport artery. Perhaps "clogged artery" is a better description.

Partway down it, another road enters from the side. The side road has a Stop sign on it, it is on a decline, and the side road is also a lumpy mess. I drive down that side road fairly often in order to turn into the road in question. You come down it slowly, stop, and check both ways with caution because the corner also comes with restricted visibility.

I was blundering down the road when a green Suzuki Swift shot out of the side road right in front of me. The driver was yapping on his mobile phone, and had not even slowed down for the Stop sign. I only saw the car at the last moment (due to the restricted sight lines) and he didn't even bother turning his head my way as he blasted through the Stop sign and turned right, crossing the front of my car. Because he was holding his phone against his right ear, his hand and phone totally blocked his vision in my direction. He was unable to see me unless he bothered to turn his head - which he did not.

I had to stand on the brakes to avoid him - the ABS cut in and the truck shuddered to a skiddering halt in the pot holes. I also gave him a good blast on the horn as he zipped past, narrowly avoiding taking out the corner of the bumper on my side. If I hadn't swerved left as well, I am sure he would have clipped me. If he'd done that, he probably would have been spun into a 180 and then smashed into cars parked to my right.

Even with the horn blast, he didn't move his head or eyes to look at my rather large 4WD. Did I mention I also had my lights on? To him, I just wasn't there. Neither was the Stop sign.

If he had popped out a second later, there is no way even ABS and good reactions would have stopped me cleaning him up. I would have been standing on the side of the road, giving a statement to the police and watching the firies cutting him out of his car. I imagine that when 4WD meets driver's door of Suzuki Swift, the ending will not be pleasant. For me, maybe a new bumper. For him, a new set of tin legs and a wheelchair. And maybe a bib for the drool.

The reason I hope he drives into the back of a petrol truck whilst smoking is that I occasionally meet idiots like this when I am on my pushbike. I don't mind so much if I am in the 4WD - if he drives like a loon and hits me, he will suffer more than I. But if I am on my bike, no matter how careful and risk avoiding and law abiding I am, I will be the one in traction if I end up in his path.

Is there anyway to swivel mount a voice activated bushmaster cannon on the front of the car?

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