Wednesday, 19 November 2008

The real Australia premiere

I had to drive into town yesterday for a meeting. Boy, was that a big mistake. After driving around for 25 minutes looking for a parking space, and noticing the total proliferation of tow trucks removing badly parked cars, I rang the bloke I was supposed to be meeting to call it off.

He explained that the movie "Australia" was premiering that night, and that his end of town was madness.

Gee, thanks Baz. I could have billed at least an hour for that meeting.

The photo above shows how I will remember this day - this is part of an absolute swarm of tow trucks that were blitzing the southern end of the CBD. It was a frenzy of tow trucks, and the pickings were rich. Unlike the aftermath of a traffic crash, every driver got something to tow away.

Junior's dad is part of the entertainment industry (the "arts-industrial complex" as we should call it) and he spent six months or so up north on the shoot as an assistant of some sort to Mr Luhrman. We have no idea what happens in the movie, as he hardly came back during that entire period, so we didn't pick up any gossip. I don't think I'll be seeing the movie - it feels too much like "Pearl Harbour" for my taste.

A lot of movies have their premiere at the State Theatre in Market St. I used to work in a building nearby, and I'd leave the office at say 8pm and walk outside to find that the footpath was completely closed off, and that red carpet had been laid down the path towards the train station. Limos would be pulling up, disgorging the buffed and the botoxed, and the only way out for me would be to walk down the carpet and jump the fence at the far end near Town Hall.

The street would be packed with thousands of the screaming idiots that always turn up at these events, hoping to get their mug on camera. The bouncers would always let me through, as going down the carpet was the only way I could actually leave my workplace. I must have been photographed by the paparazzi at least a dozen times over the years, but sadly, my face has never appeared in a gossip mag.

I hope it stays that way.

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