Moderator: "Welcome ladies and gentlemen to this test of Sarah Palin's intelligence. We will ask each candidate 5 questions, and the candidate that gets the most correct answers will be declared the most intelligent"
"Now, I will start with an esteemed print journalist, David Marr"
"David, spell cat"
Marr: "C-A-T. That's a four letter word."
"Well done. Now, what is the name of your favourite cat?"
"What is your favourite colour?"
"Is H2O the same as water?"
Marr: "Bottled water or tap water?"
"Either will do, David"
Marr: "I'd have to say yes. But what about sea water?"
"That's enough David, I'll ask the questions. Now, what newspaper do you regularly write for?
Marr: "The Sydney Morning Herald"
"Thankyou, you got all those answers correct. Now, Governor Palin..."
"Name the four best known species of the family Felidae"
Palin: "Lion, Tiger, Jaguar and Leopard"
"Thank you, but the proper terms are Panthera leo, Panthera tigris, Panthera Onca and Panthera pardus"
"Now, what is the term for an exagerated fear of cats, and please spell it"
Palin: "Ailurophobia. Spelt a-i-l-u-r-o-p-h-o-b-i-a"
"I'm afraid that we only accept the French way of spelling it, which is elurophobia"
"Moving on, what is the wavelength of the colour blue?"
Palin: "I believe it is around 450 nanometres"
"The correct answer is between 440nm and 490nm, so I'm afraid we can't accept your gross and misleading approximation. Next you'll be telling us that you can see blue from your house"
"Now, have you heard of the city of Mbandaka in the Democratic Republic of Congo?"
"Can you please name the father-in-law of the editor of the Mbandaka Herald?"
Palin: "That would be Lawrence Bemba".
"I'm afraid your information is way out of date and that you are living in the past. The editor divorced last week and was remarried this morning at 9am, and his new father-in-law is therefore Jean-Pierre Okongo".
"Our last question - please provide the molecular mass of 7-chloro-1-methyl-5-phenyl-1,3-dihydro-2H-1,4-benzodiazepin-2-one"
Palin: "I believe that would be 285 g/mol"
"I'm sorry, the correct answer is 284.7 g/mol. We don't allow round numbers."
Palin: "You could have told me you wanted it calculated to the first decimal point"
Marr: "The first deciminal what?"
Moderator: "Don't worry about it David, you are the clear winner with 5 correct answers. Ladies and gentlemen, I have to ask you, why would anyone want to elect someone so stupid that they couldn't even get one general knowledge question correct?"