Well, they've done it again. The Hapless Japs have upset our deep green Minister for the Deep, Ian "souper" Campbell. (Campbell's soup - geddit?) Their crime this time - not dispatching whales with enough despatch.
The problem seems to be that they can't shoot the harpoon into the whale's brain. Kim Beasley has nothing to fear then from any passing whalers - at most, he might cop a harpoon in the arse, but they aren't likely to hit anything vital. Then again, his arse seems to be his policy making unit at the moment, so it could be a career ending shot.
The way I see it, the Japs are failing to hit their target due to a lack of practice. If we want more humane whaling, we should give them more practice, which either means shooting more whales, or painting whale targets on the side of Greenpeace ships and letting them shoot at the odd Sea Shephard as it passes by.
Another way would be to contract in some roo shooters and put them behind the harpoon. If they can brain a roo at a few hundred metres, chances are they can zap a whale with a big fuck-off cannon.
My feeling is that the Japs will never be good shots - that's the problem with being slitty eyed. They should stick to making transistor radios and Hondas and leave the killing to a few boys from the back of Bourke.
Not that our Navy has much luck with shooting straight. I saw a snippet of Border Patrol recently and it showed a sailor brassing up an nog fishing boat. At least he seemed to be trying to brass it up - everytime he shot at it, all the rounds went into the water in front of the fishing boat. What's the point of giving these useless buggers guns if they can't hit the odd crewman? Heck, they can't even hit a wooden fishing boat at 50 metres. And they didn't seem to be using tracer either.
The nogs are probably being spoil sports by using diesel motors, but surely there must be something flamable on board that will respond brightly to a few well placed tracers? Maybe the odd bottle of propane that is used for cooking? That would save the hassle of having to tow the fishing boat into port.
By the looks of it, the standard of shooting on our ships is so bad, we'll have to go back to the old pom-pom type arrangement. Just point the quad barrelled thing in the general direction of whatever it is you are trying to kill and squeeze the trigger.
We could of course kill two birds with one stone here. Contract out border patrol to Japanese whaling vessels. Let them harpoon as many fishing boats as they can catch. What could possibly be wrong with that policy?
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