It's time to arm the NSW cops with uzis

Breaking news today - 250 cops are going off front line duties because they have not qualified with their Glocks this year.

Gee, I'm glad to know that the thin blue line gets to squeeze the trigger once a year. Next time I see Mr Plod draw a firearm, I am hitting the dirt - even if Mr Plod has his back to me and is pointing at someone in front of him. With target practice once a year, Mr Plod is liable to hit anything, me included.

The answer is simple - get rid of the Glocks, which are semi-auto and only hold something like a measly 13 rounds, and uprate the plod to a full-auto Uzi with a 30 round mag. Given that it is doubtful that they will hit anything with 13 rounds, you might as well give them 30 to give them a better chance of nailing a bad guy.

I think I got more practice with a pistol when I was a member of the Uni Pistol Club. We shot indoors every few weeks, and had the odd outdoor excursion when we could afford the ammo. Being poor, the outdoor shoots were few and far between. You can't tell me that the NSW cops are so broke, they can't afford to let the Plod have a blast every month or so? Heck, I joined a pistol club a while back when I could afford the ammo and had a fun afternoon blatting away with a .22, a .38, a .45 and a Glock. 50 rounds for the Glock was not that expensive. I spent my money buying lots of bullets in the hope of replicating the great Mel Gibson shooting range scene in one of the Lethal Weapons where he shoots a smiley face on the target. I almost did it, but mine ended up a bit lopsided.

The best fun we had at the range was when some whacko brought along his Italian made gas operated semi-auto shotgun. It was called something like a Franci Spaz. It had a pistol grip and a detachable stock, so you could fire it like the most awesome fuck-off 12 gauge pistol in the history of the universe. We fired at wine cask bladders filled with water that were hanging on a line, and I don't recall hitting anything using the pistol grip stance. I do recall the fucking thing recoiling into my face though when I fired it the first time. The 12 gauge packs a mean punch. The only way to get it up to fire it was to essentially throw it upwards with both hands on the pistol grip and to yank the trigger when the barrel appeared to be kind of lined up with the target. The recoil would throw the barrel up almost over your head, and you'd fire again as the barrel dropped (being gas operated, it reloaded for you). If you could fire it three times like that, you were Rambo.

Bloody gun buyback scheme put paid to that sucker though.

The goons that I went shooting with also loaded their own. I seem to recall getting splattered in the face continually by hot crap shooting out of the cylinder of the guy next to me - he was using a .44 I think, and he was way over-loading the rounds. Crap flew out the side of that thing in all directions when he fired it.

Ah, the good old days.