Monday 19 June 2006

I am unpatriotic filth

Am I the only Australian that didn't stay up to sparrow fart last night to watch the soccer? I got into work at 8.30am and was almost the first to arrive (we have a lot of people who normally start around 6am - 7am, so 8.30 is unheardovely late. Some staggered in around 10, with eyes looking like pissholes in the snow. I had organised a few meetings and practically had to direct inject caffeine into eyeballs to keep the other participants awake.

I hadn't read the paper, seen TV, heard radio or read anything on line, so I had no idea what the result was until around lunchtime. However, I had pretty much worked out that Brazil won by the glum faces.

The thing that really told me we had lost was the lack of tooting horns and revving engines and speeding wogs at 3am outside our place. All the local cafes up the road have been advertising 24 hour opening and wall to wall soccer, so I figured there would be a few thousand reved up wogs running around the streets waking everyone up if the result went our way.

When is the next game? Can I purchase a firearm in time? Is it legal to shoot hyped-up wogs in the 12 hours after a game? If not, why not?

At worst, I will have to root around in the glovebox for some ear protection. Another alternative is to decamp somewhere nice and quiet where the soccer isn't going to get a look in - like Cronulla. Down there, it is rugby league and nothing else. If you want to see burning cars, don't send a convoy of Lebs in there - send in a convoy of wog soccer fans. It'll be toasted Alfa Romeo before you can say, "oi, oi, oi!"

Is this something I should feel bad about? Did someone decree that we have to like soccer now because we have qualified in the whatever and won a game? Disliking soccer at the moment is like going to an RSL and declaring that you like to burn flags every Friday night.

We should never have let Catholics into this country.

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