Thursday, 3 May 2007

I can now pick the most deadly cars

I used to think that the most hazardous vehicles to cyclists like me where taxis, couriers, men in utes and boy racers in rice burners (with obligatory dustbin sized exhaust).

I was wrong. I have discovered an even deadlier car.

The low-end BMW. Especially red ones with bad body kits.

Think about the BMW brand for a minute. BMW produce some fantastic cars, and I've been through their museum in Germany and seen some of the older ones up close. The 5 series, the 7 series, the "M" models. Even the X5 isn't that bad. The common thread though is that they cost a bomb.

But you can still get that BMW badge if you fork out for a bottom of the range 318. Basically a Gemini with a bit of cachet.

Buyers of the 318 are the worst sort of wanna-be. They are the turbo charged try hards. They are to be avoided at all costs. They are posers that just don't have enough cash to join the big league in a 5 series or an "M" model.

I spotted a really egregious example in town this week - a red one, with the full-on spoiler kit. It wouldn't have looked out of place going around the Nurburgring, except that it was the most pathetic penis extension that I have ever seen. It even had chequered fluffy dice.

People like that need to be issued with "sad" tickets, as in "You are one sad case, bucko. Go home and have a good, long look in the mirror, then sell that car".

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