Blondes vs eldsters

The Shitty Moaning Harlot has been bleating recently about the tendency of older drivers to run over and seriously injure or kill people. They seem to be trying to get all oldies out of their cars and into ..... what? Motorised wheel chairs? Non-existent buses? Hell, I don't want to be sitting next to a bunch of oldies on the train. What if they have dementia and have forgotten to wear their nappy and they wet themselves? What if they decide to take their dentures out and rub them on their sleeve halfway across the Harbour Bridge? No thanks. I'd rather they drive and keep their disgusting eldster habits to themselves. Besides, most of them are deaf and have no sense of smell, so they fart away blissfully unaware that they have just let rip a booming stinker. Keep on driving till you drop I say.

Some might complain that they doodle along at 30km/h when the speed limit is 90, but hey, this is Sydney, and most of the time the traffic is doing somewhere between 0 and 20. Eldsters puttering along on their way to the bowling club present no threat as far as holding up traffic goes. What worries me is that if they start pottering around in motorised wheelchairs, the buggers will end up on the cycle paths, and most of those chairs are as wide across the bum as Kim Beasley. Passing will be impossible. They'll just have to stick to driving their Toyota Crowns around town.

Anyway, eldsters are not the only ones suffering from dementia and slow reactions and general dopeyness. I was waiting at a set of lights near Darling Harbour last week when a blonde chick pulled up in the left hand turn lane (on my left) in a little beep-beep car. She sat their twirling her hair, completely oblivious to the fact that her left turn arrow had gone green. I almost lent over to say, "Lady, you've got a green arrow", but she probably would have freaked and maced me. Instead, I waited patiently for the impatient truck driver behind her to give her a blast on his air horn. However, the dopy sod just sat there quietly fuming.

Her light went orange, and I started to chuckle at her dopeyness, when she went and put the car into gear and drove through it after it went red! A few pedestrians had started to cross (when they got the green man) and they had to jump out of the way to avoid being skittled - she didn't appear to see any of them!

Sheesh, talk about being a complete and utter fucking idiot. I just sat there on my saddle with my mouth open staring at her tail lights as she meandered down the road in a complete daze.

I reckon she was in her mid 20's. Given that youngsters are over-represented in the car fatality stakes, we're probably better off not handing out licenses until people reach 30, and then letting them keep them until they drop dead behind the wheel.