Look, there’s only one way to resolve this - a duel!
OK Blair - it’s you against me. I’m throwing down the glove and challenging you to a race. Any Friday, 5pm start. Start line is the CBD - your workplace or mine, doesn’t matter. Finishing line is the Sydney Rowing Club in Abbotsford.
Loser buys meal and drinks.
Winner gets to gloat AND write your next column.
You can use any car you like, so long as it’s recognised as a car. I’ll use cycle paths (where they exist).
Suggest you bring Hildebrand as a second - he can document your journey. Then again, he looks like the sort of sandal wearing weird beard that would ride a bike - maybe he can come along as my second.
If you can’t beat a MAMIL (Middle Aged Man In Lycra), or FOUB (Fat, Old, Unfit B*stard), you’ve got a problem.
Are you up for it, or are you chicken?