Reba the arse-limpet

Is there a German word for "arse-limpet"? The krauts always seem to have a great word for every occasion. Shnickeltwatinboogen, or something to that effect.

Reba Meagher has really dropped herself in it this time. Government drivers never talk. Ever. About anything. They are your veritable clams. They might gossip amongst themselves in their idle moments, but talking to the media would be numbers 1, 2 and 3 on the list of Top Things You Don't Do In This Job.

I have taken the odd ride in a commonwealth car, as they used to be known. Back then, they used to look like this. Now that was a car. They used to black too - don't know when the decision was made to start painting them white. The dashboards also came equiped with the most fantastic knobs and levers - the sorts of levers you just don't get in cars these days.

Now it has been a long time since I went for a ride in one - most of you probably weren't even born back then (apart from you, Kae). But the code of silence - omerta even - was a big thing amongst the drivers.

They had to put up with all sorts of behaviour from MPs who ranged from being gracious, polite types who'd sit up front and chat about the driver's family and so on, down to the arrogant, drunken pond scum who'd sit up the back and treat the driver like shit. The drivers know everything about their passengers. They get to listen in on all sorts of dirt. They take people to locations that the passengers would hate anyone else to know about - like their girlfriend's house for instance. For all I know, they might witness a bit of coke-snorting and that sort of thing from time to time.

But they never talk.

Their lips are sealed.

Reba must be a right cow for this story to hit the press. You'd really have to press every wrong button, including the big red one that says "DO NOT PRESS THIS BUTTON" in order for a story to make it into the media. You'd also have to press those buttons over a period of time - things like this just don't pop up out of nowhere.

When the drivers turn on you, you know the government is doomed. Next journey for Reba will be a one way trip to an employment agency.

Update

You know, I'm probably in trouble with some secret chauffeurs society for even mentioning that I have ridden in a commonwealth car.

And how's this from the story - Reba tries to fob it off by blaming one of her staff for not telling the driver he was not required.

What type of person gets on the turps and then says to one of their staff, "Oh, and tell the driver he can go home"? If it was me, I would have rung the driver, or if I didn't have their number, rung the despatch centre and told them that the driver could knock off for the night. How lazy and stuck up can someone get?

And all this from a Labor politician, someone who is supposed to be looking out for the battlers, like our driver.

Some people have no class, grace or manners.