Sunday 25 June 2006

What constitutes a wog?

A wog is not an ethnic distinction. Being a wog is a state of mind. It's like the modern version of Aboriginal - you don't have to be born to black parents, you just have to be accepted by a tribe.

I sit here surrounded by Australians of Italian origin in all directions. However, not many of them are wogs. To me, a wog is someone that would otherwise be described as "meathead". A wog can therefor be someone of any culture, nationality, religion or hue. Their defining characteristic is not hair colour or nose size or hairiness - it is their tendency towards the fuckwitrocracy.

You could say that wog is shorthand for "fucking deadshit". It is a term that can be used in polite company. It can be said on radio without attracting the opprobrium of various broadcasting bodies. You could probably even use it in church without being struck by lightning, or at least being hit over the head by the handbag wielding lady of Italian extraction in the pew behind you.

A wog is someone with an overinflated sense of self importance. They are complete sleases. They are the type that use the greasiest chatup lines on chicks, and then call them dumb fucking sluts when they don't fall for the line. Wogs have very small balls, which requires them to drive flash looking cars with spoilers and yellow mags and to have go-faster stickers smeared all over them. Wogs can be heard driving towards you from several hundred yards.

Wogs greet each other in a manner that makes normal people cringe. They have haircuts from hell. They wear too much gold jewellry. They drive with the seat back inclined almost to the horizontal.

They are pushy, arrogant little fucks.

They are not gentlemen. They have no manners. They are arseholes by any other name.

That being said, wog can be used in a nice way or a nasty way. It's like saying fuck. You can say "fuck you" for instance and mean it in an agressive way or a friendly way. When I talk about the local wog shops, I am paying them a great compliment as they are the apogee of things Italian. They offer the best in wog cuisine.

To make it easier, in future I will refer to "wogs" and "fucking wogs". I will leave it to you to work out which meaning means which.

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