We were invited to a very pleasant little soiree recently - a gathering of friends old and new at a pub. It was a set price bash, and the guests could pay in advance or on the night.
Part way through the night, the organiser collared me and asked me to round up the cash from the delinquents. It was a reasonable amount of money to collect - a few thousand bucks. I don't know why they asked me to do it - the last time something like that happened, I did my best to spend the loot on strippers, and ended up putting it on a bar in a nightclub where we did a lot of shots. That evening kind of blacked out a bit after that. I forget which gutter I woke up in.
I was much better behaved this time though. I managed to get almost all the money together without blowing it on loose women and spirituous liquors.
Once people noticed that I was collecting cash, a huddle quickly formed around me and much moolah was pressed into my palms. I had a hard time grabbing it all without dropping any, and my brain was going 100mph trying to keep up with who had paid for whom.
I lugged the bundle of loot over to the bar manager, and we counted it out.
We were two people short.
A bit of brain wracking then resulted, and I eventually worked out which faces weren't in front of me when the money was being thrust my way. I didn't know the culprits well, so I despatched one of their close friends to extract the cash.
They eventually returned with it about an hour later. In the end, they had to chase one of them down and corner them in the dunny in order to get them to part with a few readies. Apparently they are notorious for this sort of behaviour. Long pockets and short arms. Very free with other people's money, but incredibly tight fisted with their own.
The worst of the pair is a Green politician.