Cyclists who ride like Mr Toad

This article in The Spectator cracked me up:

Top-gear city cyclists are a law unto themselves. They’re a hardcore bunch — the very antithesis of a benevolent Boris or those daffy Mrs Tiggy-Winkle handwoven folk who choose to cycle only when the sun is shining and they’ve bought something pretty to put in their baskets. City types are not bumbling about on their bikes merely for fun. They’re going hell for leather and, like most people on the road, possess a deeply competitive streak. Obviously they have every right to cycle to work, just as we motorists (still) have the right to drive, yet road-sharing on this particular stretch is rife with danger. I know many of we car-owners are guilty of driving with the poop-poop arrogance of a Mr Toad, but two-wheeled tyrants can be every bit as bad. I’ve witnessed some of these louche Lords of the Lycra behaving like schizophrenic eco-warriors. One minute they’re compliant, staying faithful to the Highway Code; the next they’re acting as though they have the personal protection of an armour-plated Hummer. They are inconsistent, which is worryingly confusing.

She's quite right. Some people get on a bike and think that sitting in the saddle is an excuse to go mental. Things that they would never dream of doing in a car become quite normal behaviour when on two wheels.

She describes nearly cleaning up a cyclist who came zipping out of a side street, not looking where he was going and yapping on a mobile phone with his head down. Sheer stupidity. I have no sympathy for these fools when they take a tumble - idiots like that have nearly cleaned me up on a few occasions when I have been twirling the pedals. They're a bloody menace to one and all.

Given that I hope to start riding to work again regularly next week, I have to be careful to restrain myself from turning into one of them. It's so easy to go with the flow and behave like an arsehole when others around you are acting that way. Must resist.... must resist. Remain a decent human being...... do not get absorbed by the Bastard Bike Borg......