Being an equal opportunity kind of guy, I'm happy to heap abuse on stupid people no matter where they are or what they are doing.
Stupid person 1 - the cyclist who blasted through all the red traffic lights in Pyrmont this morning. I watched him do 1-2-3-4 in succession, amazed that he wasn't collected by a car as he shot through each intersection without so much as a sideways glance. When he reached the Pyrmont Bridge, he proceeded to fang it across the bridge, ducking and weaving through the small number of pedestrians on the bridge at that time of day.
You might be wondering how I saw all this. Simple. The lights went green not long after he shot through the first three, and because I am reasonably quick, I managed to keep him in sight all the way to the bridge. If someone had taken him out, I would have ridden over to him lying on the ground and given him a mouthful.
Stupid person 2 - I'm riding along and I notice that there's a big tailback of cars from an intersection where I've never seen more than 5 or 6 cars queued at peak hour. The lights go green way up ahead and the traffic hardly moves. I've got no idea what's going on, so when the lights go red and the traffic stops moving, I filter up to the front.
There's a broken down car in the left hand lane, right on the stop line. A sorry looking teenage girl is behind the wheel. She's done the right thing - hazards are on and she's calling a tow truck. The lights go green and off I go - and the moron behind her starts honking at her. Talk about clueless and stupid.
Captain moron of the week - I'm blasting down a hill at 60km/h. At the bottom, there's a big lane of green paint to show motorists bikes are coming through, and a stop sign to prevent cars from taking out high speed cyclists.
Ute approaches the stop sign, and just rolls right through it right in front of 4 of us. Brake levers are grabbed, tyres start smoking and we manage to slip and slide around the ute. The ute pulls over. I do a U turn and go back and give the driver a VERY LOUD assessment of her driving ability (using lots of words I never use in front of the kids).
She's on the phone. She doesn't remove the phone from her ear during my diatribe. She cares not a whit that she just put the lives of others in danger - she's on a very important call to someone or other. She doesn't care that she drove through a stop sign, or that she was driving whilst yapping on her mobile. As a final insult, she winds up her window on me.
It's at times like these, I wish I was carrying a pair of sidecutters with me. I'd simply walk around the car and snip the valve off all four tyres - that would make her day.
I curse myself for not grabbing her phone or car keys and hurling them into the bay.
About an hour later, I started to wonder if she was very pissed or totally stoned - she was way too calm and out of it. Definitely should have tossed her keys into six feet of murky water.