Vegetabletarian shoes

Vegetabletarians seem to have a problem with wearing leather shoes and leather jackets and leather belts and so on. Crikey, does that mean that they are stuck with horrible plastic shoes? I have this awful vision of when I was working at a public sector organisation in the UK for a very short period and most of the pubes walked around in cardigans and grey, plastic zip up shoes. They were quite without a doubt the most awful footwear that I had ever seen, until I moved to Wogville and saw all the males walking around in those leather open toed sandal things. There is something just so totally gay about open toed leather sandal things. They might be cool in Genoa, but they are a fag-a-minute situation around here.

But I digress as usual. Let's say you have a vego that is not quite a vego - they might eat chicken for instance. I guess that makes them a henotarian or a vegechicken. In that case, although they might object to leather, would they object to shoes made of chicken skin?

If so, just how the fuck do you tan chicken skins? Would they make lovely soft leather like baby goats? Could there be an enormous market for chook shoes amongst the bean eating lesbian suburbia known as Newtown? They might be lesbians, but they are women - they have to own 97 pairs of shoes. Think of the number of chicken skins it would take to fit out a lesbian couple with fancy shoes, especially if they go in for thigh high boots.

You also have vego types that eat seafood. I guess chicken skin coats are out for them, but whales live in water, so would they object to wearing whale skin coats? I bet the eskimos wear them - or perhaps they are seal skin coats. Whatever. Whales spend more time in water so they are more fish like than seals, so a whale skin coat should be more acceptable to a vego than seals. Especially baby fur seals, which have really not spent much time in the water at all. Then again, they've spent a lot of time on the water (as in ice, which is just frozen water), so they could be counted as seafood.

What would you call chook skin shoes? Cluckers?